Airplane
by cozyouknow
Summary: My own take on the Garbage Doll and the Girl in the Other World. "I would never leave your side..." Alternate Universe! This is not, in any way, connected to the main plot of the Clannad series. Stand-alone one-shot!


The sky above me was a mixture of glittering blue and shining gold. Perhaps, the sun had already set. But there was no trace of the big, bright sun anywhere. Nor of the gentle, calm moon. I looked around, with what was left of my human sight and I found myself standing on a vast meadow. The grasses grew short, just a little above the ground. There was nothing besides the grasses and the skies. It was all empty space. Even a single flower or a silent fluttering of insect's wings, I couldn't see anything beyond this space. I couldn't hear anything.

And then I saw her. Noticed her. Looked at her. Maybe it was because of the way she was standing here in this empty space, her dandelion-hued hair dancing in the wind; maybe it was because of the way her old-fashioned white dress was swirling around her long and slender legs. Maybe it was the sad look she gave me and nothing more. Or maybe because I wasn't alone anymore in this unknown place.

She approached me, her footsteps muffled by the grass. I realized that the only thing I could hear was her heart beat. _Thump thump, _it said. Regular paces. Calm beats. I placed my hand on my own chest. I could feel nothing but the cold surface of metal against my hand.

My hand? Metal?

Then she spoke. Her voice rang around me. It literally broke the never-ending silence. "This was a world that had ended. A place with no one else other than us. I've been living, looking for useful junk."

Then she looked at me.

Junk.

I found out I couldn't speak. I couldn't find my voice. This girl across me, her dandelion-hued hair continued to dance in the wind, reached out to me. Slowly. Slowly. I took her hand. She started to walk. I did too. And we walked together on this vast meadow.

She looked very tall to me; I was only half her size. Yet, she looked incredibly human to me. Like I was before. I found out that I could move my body more fluidly and smoothly now.

What did I become?

Where was I?

Who was she?

At last, she stopped beside me and I saw that we came across a cottage. It was like a little house made of dozens of wooden planks glued together. There was a single window at the left side. A door at the front. She tugged at me again and we entered this little cottage of ours.

The inside was as empty as the outside. There were no tables or chairs. It was just a room. Only a large mirror leaned at the far left corner. She pointed the mirror and motioned me to approach it. I obeyed.

Then I saw what I had become.

A piece of junk. Scraps of metal glued together. A helmet served as my head, with an old wrench at each side of my makeshift head. I had metal limbs attached to where my arms and feet should have been.

My soul, which was completely human, was trapped inside the body of this robot.

When people die, do they also become like this?

Like me?

I turned my head to look at the girl and she stared straight back at me like before. It seemed that she had read my thoughts.

"I created you. From the junk I have collected, from the tools I had." She slumped on the ground, looking passive as ever. "I wanted someone to be with me in this world. Because nobody could see us here. Nobody would know this place. Only you and me. And someday, we would get out of here. Together."

I finally understood, though not everything. After I died in that world, I was reborn here. To serve as a companion to this little girl across me. Somewhere in a distant past or far future, I was in a different place. It was such a bustling place. I possessed a body. A real one. I could talk there. I could breathe the air; I could see the sun. But I couldn't return there anymore.

Because I had a body that this girl made.

This time, I was the one who approached her. She couldn't hear me. I held her hand. It was warm, as opposed to the cold hardness of my body. But she seemed to ignore it.

"Someday, we would get out of this sad and lonely world together. Someday, we would see the sun rise up and set again. I would be able to hear your voice already. You would be able to see me smile. We'd fly up there in the glittering skies and never come back here. Would you help me? So we would be together always."

I nodded my head and vowed never to leave her side.

Never.

I didn't know her but she somehow knew me.

And that was enough.

* * *

The days passed by slowly in this place. There was no night, no day. The sun was nowhere in sight and only a long stretch of glittering blue and shining gold could be seen. Sometimes, I would tire just looking at the skies and the vast, endless meadow around me. But she kept me company. So I wouldn't feel lonely.

I was looking at the skies, waiting for any sign of change, when she asked me to come over.

"Come. I'll take you somewhere."

Where?

"There." She pointed at the far distance though I can't see anything there. "We have to walk very far." She looked at me intently. "First, promise me you'd walk with me."

I nodded. I already knew that I would never leave her side.

"Second, promise me that if ever I get tired, you would help me stand up so that we could go on."

I nodded again.

"Last, no matter how tired I become, you would urge me to go on."

I was a little hesitant this time but I figured that she didn't mean anything dangerous. So I nodded again. And for the first time since I came here, she smiled. "Thank you."

And together, we walked the distance, hand-in-hand.

* * *

It was very far as she had told me. I was not aware of the time, if ever it existed here. I didn't remove my hand from hers and neither did she. We walked in silence since I couldn't talk as much as I wanted to. Occasionally, I would look up to the sky. But it didn't even change the slightest. I wondered if we were really moving. The same skies, the same meadow. But the girl beside me did not waver a bit. She looked straight ahead. So I believed her. I believed that we were nearing that place she had pointed to me.

So we walked again. For my part, I didn't feel any tiredness or physical pain since I was artificial. But for hers, I could feel she was gradually tiring. Her steps seemed slower than before, given that I was just twice her height. Sometimes, her grasp would loosen and I needed to tighten mine to keep her from letting go. And she would respond with the same tightness. Yet, I feared that any second, she would just fall down and I would never be able to catch her.

I tried stopping so that she could rest but she didn't allow this. Every time I stop walking, she would give me a sad look and would bade me not to do this. "We're losing time.", she would say.

Time for what?

"I wanted for the two of us to get out of here as soon as we can. A delay can ruin our only chance. And I wouldn't permit that."

Sometimes, I thought that she was being stubborn. But I couldn't complain. I didn't want her to be sad again. It was the best thing I could do, keep walking so that we could reach our destination sooner. So that she could rest and I wouldn't have to worry anymore.

One time, her grasp loosened all the way. She fell down beside me and I wasn't quick or strong enough to catch her. The grass softened her fall. I knelt beside her.

For a while, her eyes didn't open. I was worried but I couldn't do anything. I just held her hand because I had promised I'd never let go.

Then, she opened her eyes. Slowly. Slowly.

Are you ok?

She sighed. "Thank you. I thought I could last longer than this. I thought wrong." Her color regained as I tightened my hold on her hand. I was glad when she responded with the same tightness like before.

"Let's go." She whispered quietly and made a move to stand up. But I didn't budge from my position. Rest, I wanted to tell her. But she refused. She shook her head, her dandelion-hued hair swaying behind her.

"We mustn't stop. We should continue walking until we reach that place. It's already near. Come on." When I still didn't move, she sighed again. A heavier one this time.

"You promised you would walk with me."

I nodded.

"You promised you'd help me stand up."

I nodded.

"You promised that we'd go on, no matter how tired I become."

I didn't nod. I would walk with her even to the end of this world. I would help her stand up every single time she'd fall. But I would not go on with her like this. I would never leave her side.

"Please?" She begged me and I saw some small tears forming in the corners of her eyes. "I can already walk. Please be with me. Please don't refuse. It hurts me more. We're losing time. I don't want to lose you."

If I were still a human, stronger and taller, I would have carried her. No matter how far, I wouldn't get tired. But what could I do? I was just created from pieces of junk.

So we walked again, she pushing her weakened body forward. Whenever she gets tired, she will not let me assist her. Whenever she falls, she will stand up quickly by herself. And I can't do anything but keep my promises and hold her hand all this time. I was weak.

* * *

At last, we were there. Overhead was the same sky. We were standing on the same meadow. But in the middle of this empty space was a pile of scrap metal. Various appliances destroyed. Various working tools. A huge mountain of junk. I knew I was made of this.

Without resting for even a while, we approached this heap of things and she finally let go of my hand. She knelt beside it and immediately began assembling things out of order. She just piled and piled and piled groups of different scraps.

"You were made out of this." She spoke after some time. With the imminent task, her strength was coming back to her. "And now, you'll help me build something again."

What is it?

"An airplane." She pronounced the word with the greatest enthusiasm, the first I had heard from her. "We would build an airplane for the two of us and we would be flying it. There in the skies." She pointed to the endless stretch of gold and blue above us. "We would fly until we were out of here. The skies would take care of us in her arms until we see some land again. Together, we'd go out of this world."

I nodded. But how could we fly the airplane? I wanted to ask her this but I couldn't. And I wouldn't. I didn't want to distract her nor make her lose hope. Whether we get out of this world, as long as I'm with her, everything is already fine for me.

And so, we built our airplane. She possessed some incredible skill with her hands. After some time, we had built a wing. She was ecstatic about our progress and was more determined now to finish it. Day by day, she grew stronger. I was more than contented to see her happy and healthy.

Alas, we had built the other wing again. I could already see the contained look of joy in her eyes. If she could just see mine, then I would be the happiest piece of junk.

Both of us continued to hope. We didn't stop working and we didn't stop hoping.

* * *

Almost three-fourths of the airplane had already been finished when she started to weaken again. She would easily get tired. Sometimes, she would suddenly lose focus. Sometimes, she would suddenly fall. The difference was, this time, I could already catch her. But it was the same, she was getting sick again. I couldn't do anything like before.

Yet, she was stubborn as always. She would not let me do the entire job alone. Even though her body was already giving up, she would continue building and working. Though her eyes were already closing, she would desperately keep them open.

"We are losing time," she told me again one day. "The airplane's about to be finished. But we should make haste."

Why the rush?

"We need to finish before snow starts."

Snow? This empty world has snow?

She nodded, as if to read my mind. She spoke slowly. I waited for her to finish. "Snow piles up here at unexpected times. When that happens, it would be extremely difficult to fly the airplane. The snow will fall for a very, very long time and we will never have the chance anymore. And, I always get sick when snow is about to come already. So we need to hurry. Or our efforts will be wasted."

I understood her. I had sensed the alarm at her voice and finally I understood. Why we need to hurry every time. Why we are already losing time. It was a race against the snow. Against time. And I wanted to get out of this world with her. We needed to escape the snow. So I could be with her and she wouldn't be sick again. Yes, we needed to hurry.

More than ever, I doubled my efforts at working. I would constantly check up on her condition. What she couldn't do properly, I would continue. She was getting weaker every day. It even came to a point that she couldn't stand anymore, couldn't move her fingers anymore. I then served as her hands. She would instruct me how to build. I would do it. It was like we were a whole body, working together. It was hard for me to see her like this. But it was harder for me if I had lost her.

* * *

The airplane was finished. After so many days, if time really existed here in this place, we had finally finished working. It was the fruit of our efforts. It was ready for flying.

I took a few steps back to admire our work. It looked like an airplane from every angle and side. I felt proud that I had done something grand such as this. And we beat the snow. We won the race against time. We would be leaving this world soon. Finally. To where? I don't know. I didn't care.

I was about to look at her when I heard a soft thud behind me. Quickly, I turned my back and saw her lying there on the meadow.

Her body gave up altogether.

With my short metal legs, I ran to her. She was still breathing, though unconscious. I could see the slow rise and fall of her chest. Her old-fashioned white dress was now dirty with black spots. Her dandelion-hued hair was stuck behind her ears. She was sleeping. Finally, after all the work we had done, she was finally resting. As soon as she wakes up, we would be out of this place. I watched her sleep. The thought of being with her till the end kept me awake and alive. I held her hand while she slept.

And then…

* * *

A world, surface of white.  
Snow...  
Yes, snow. It covered my body in white.

Why am I in this world?

Why am I alone?

I looked up at the skies. It had finally changed. Snow was falling down. I

looked around. The meadow was finally covered with white.

Buried in snow was my hand. That hand, it was holding something.

I pulled it up.  
A hand of pure white. It was a girl's hand.  
Ahhh... that was right... I was not alone.  
I brushed off the snow covering her face. Her figure which slept quietly,

surfaced. She didn't open her eyes for a while. She wasn't opening her eyes. Why?

Then I thought of the hardships the two of us had gone through to get here. We were always together. In this world. In this sad and lonely world. And together, we had walked thus far. To get out of this world.

Ever since that day, always walking. With her always pushing her weakened body onward. Walking and walking. By now, we've gotten to where we can no longer return. Even though the snow was piling around her legs, even though the snow was burying my body. We had encouraged each other on, eyes fixed straight ahead. We continued walking. We continued working. And then, we both lost our strength. She finally gave up. I had already lost her, my whole strength in this world.

She could no longer open her eyes or move another step.

I touched her cheek with my hand.

If only I knew this would happen, I wouldn't have taken her here. I wouldn't have forced her to walk and carry on. I wouldn't have forced her to work and go on. I'm only hurting her more by doing this. Wasn't there any other place we can go to anymore? Were we going to sleep here forever? In this ending world.

"We did it." A voice in the snowstorm. It was hers. I held her hand tighter. She finally woke up. She finally opened her eyes. "Are you there?" I was surprised by the weakness of her voice. I could barely hear it. I moved closer.  
_Certainly, I will always be by your side._

"Thank you."

I stopped, surprised. _Can you hear me?_

"Yes. Finally." She looked at me like she was really talking to me.

_How come?_

"I won't be a person for much longer. That was why I could finally hear you. We are now both less humans."

_Less humans? What do you mean?_

"There are a lot of things I finally came to understand and a lot of things I didn't know. But I'm glad I could finally talk to you like this."

_I'll talk to you ceaselessly if you want, just to keep you alive._

She smiled a bittersweet smile. It pained me a little. Why? "However, we are running out of time so please hear me out."

I nodded.

She looked at a faraway distance then spoke. "I too, belonged in the same world you were once in."

_Really? Then let's go back. You shouldn't stay here! You're getting weaker._

"I'm sorry but I can't leave this world anymore."

My grasp on her hand loosened. _Why?_

"Because I'm this world. I won't be able to move anymore if it stays like this. The snow takes up my life away. Until I become a part of it, of this world. I'll lose my human form and I'll become this world's consciousness. That was why I can't leave this place. You must understand."

_I didn't understand. I thought we would leave this world together. I would never leave your side._

"Yes, but that was long ago. When I didn't know anything. In my sleep, this world talked to me and made me realize everything. I can't leave this world. Every time I try to, my body weakens and the snow will fall down to prevent me from leaving. Though my body can't move, I can talk to you."

The snow continued to fall. It was mocking me. Like I wouldn't have a chance against it. I brushed away the snowflakes stuck in her dandelion-hued hair. Her old-fashioned dress was white once again because of the snow. All our efforts, hers and mine, would be wasted if we couldn't leave this world together. _Is it painful? _

"Yes. But it's okay now. So please listen to me."

_I'm listening._ I could feel her body ebb away. That moment, I knew I was already losing her so I tightened my hold. It was metal scraping her skin.

"I created you so that I would never be alone. So that I would have someone to be with me. The first time I was born into this world, I was afraid. I was alone. Everything was still, nothing changes. I was almost turning crazy. I walked this meadow to see if someone was out there, lost like me. Snow came. I became sick and I endured the pain alone. For a long time, I couldn't move. I couldn't open my eyes. This world was talking to me, saying that I couldn't leave this world. But I didn't listen. That was when I saw these piles of junk. From here, I created a robot. I created you. I wasn't hoping you would come alive. But you did. And I was glad that I had you."

_ But I was just a piece of junk._

She shook her head. "You're not just junk. You're my mind and body pieced together. I gave you my heart, my feelings, my thoughts, so you would be reborn. I gave you half of my strength so that you would be able to catch me whenever I fall. I gave you half of my sight so that you would be able to see me. I gave you half of my limbs so you would be able to walk with me."

She smiled. Genuine. Happy. Glad. "It's all thanks to you. It was enough for me to be happy. Though I couldn't leave this world like I had planned, I finally understood everything. I was born here with a reason. And I would dutifully carry that out. I had saved you, the first one who became my friend here. That was why this time; I wanted you to save someone else."

I only looked at her.

"I wanted you to save yourself."

That moment, everything fell into place.

"Okay? Now, you must close your consciousness away from this world. If you do that, you'll be able to leave this place. You'll wake up on that important day, in that world where lots of things began and ended. The day your human form died. This place existed that day. That world is a place which you would reach after a long and exhausting journey, but you won't be able to carry any single memories of you being here. That's why everything may happen with the same result all over again. You may die again. But, if you want to live, you will be able to learn your lessons and continue your life there. Save your life and those of the people around you."

_Save? But I only want to save you! I can't just leave you behind. Because this world is so lonely. This is such a cold and freezing place. If I disappear, you'll be alone again. Always alone. _I turned my head away so I would not see her face.

She shook her head once more. "No I wouldn't be lonely. Maybe I would be given another person like you to save. After you disappear from this world, my memories would be wiped out. And I would repeat this process all over again. But I wouldn't be alone when that happens. Another you would come and I would be given a chance to also save that person. He might come after a hundred years. Or nobody might come again. During that time of waiting, I would be walking and walking endlessly in this world. I would be experiencing goodbye again. But I don't care. If I could save someone like you, I'll be willing to experience the pain again."

_I wouldn't want that!_ I could finally feel pain. Is this what she meant when she said that she gave her heart to me? So that I could feel her pain? My pain? I was junk, a robot. I couldn't cry. But I felt like I'd explode from the inside. I couldn't do anything again. I was weak.

"My heart would always be with you. Take care of it. And you'd feel me inside you."

_ I wouldn't want to forget you!_

"It's the only way for you to be alive again. The only way you could get out of this world. Go now!" She beckoned me. For the last time, she smiled at me. I had a weird thought that she could see right through me, right through my façade of junk.

The wind blew strongly. Snow covered my eyes and I couldn't see anymore. All I could see was pure white. White. Snow. The wind continued to blow. I thought I would be destroyed to pieces.

I knew it was goodbye. I knew that it was already time for me to go. In all this snow, I searched for her hand. It was there. I gave it a final squeeze.

And she responded.

I wanted to hold on. I would never leave her side.

And then, none. I couldn't find her hand anymore.

Struggling, I climbed inside the airplane. The airplane that we had spent all our efforts on. When she couldn't work anymore, I became one with her. And here I was, about to ride that airplane alone. Without her. It was unfair. But I knew that I had to be strong, even just this time. I would see through all this, as a last favor to her. So I would be able to finally do something for her. I would be strong.

My hands were shaking though I was a robot. With an exhausted effort, I closed my eyes and tried to get my consciousness away from this world. I tried to forget the glittering blue and shining gold of the skies. I tried to forget the green grasses that just grew a little above the ground. I tried to forget the little cottage with its wooden planks. I tried to forget her dandelion-hued hair swaying in the wind. Her long, slender legs with the old-fashioned white dress swirling around them. Her bittersweet smile. Her genuine smile. Her voice. She who had been with me in this lonely world.

I tried to forget her, no matter how hard.

And I felt myself being sucked away from this world.

Then, I tried to open my eyes. I saw her there, buried in the snow. She was crying, looking at me.

"Goodbye." She called out.

I closed my eyes again. I felt her heart inside of me. _Thump, thump._

_Goodbye, little girl._

I hope she had heard me.

My hands felt empty at my side.


End file.
